What is good touch and bad touch?
INTRODUCTION : Today, child molestation and physical abuse are so very rampant. Every other day we get to hear stories about a child being molested or touched inappropriately. What’s more, children who fall prey to this are normally below six years of age. They are too young and innocent to know the difference between right and wrong because the abuser is generally someone known to them and the family.
Therefore, while it is a terrible subject to talk about, parents must get out of their
‘discomfort’ zone and educate their children about this issue to keep them safe and sound.
There are three things you can teach your children before you begin to teach them specific touching safety rules.
1. Teach children the correct names of all their different body parts, including their private body parts. Children often find it hard to tell about sexual abuse because they don't know the words to use. Learning correct (anatomical) words for private body parts gives children the words to use and helps them know that it is okay to talk about those body parts.
When teaching your young child the different body parts, consider using the correct words for private body parts along with words such as "tummy" and "ears." You can give older children more information because they are able to understand more. You can also explain that the parts of their bodies covered by a swimsuit are their private body parts.
2. Teach children that "they are the boss of their body." Let your children know that they are in control of who touches their bodies and how. Model this for children: "I don't want you to jump up and down on me. Please stop." Likewise, immediately respect their wishes not to be touched in certain ways. "Looks like you don't want me to pick you up right now. Okay." As you supervise your children's interactions, make it clear that they need to stop tickling or roughhousing if a sibling says "Stop!"
In addition, do not insist that your children give or receive hugs or kisses from relatives and friends if they do not wish to. This teaches children that it’s okay to say no to touches from people in their family and others they know. Some relatives might expect a hug from your children every time they see them. Tell relatives that you are teaching your children to be bosses of their bodies as part of teaching them safety about touching, so they are not offended by your children's Behaviour.
3. Explain to your child that there are three kinds of touches. The three kinds of touches are:
• Safe touches. These are touches that keep children safe and are good for them, and that make children feel cared for and important. Safe touches can include hugging, pats on the back, and an arm around the shoulder. Safe touches can also include touches that might hurt, such as removing a splinter. Explain to children that when you remove a splinter, you are doing so to keep them healthy, which makes it a safe touch.
•Unsafe touches. These are touches that hurt children's bodies or feelings (for example, hitting, pushing, pinching, and kicking). Teach children that these kinds of touches are not okay.
•Unwanted touches. These are touches that might be safe but that a child doesn't want from that person or at that moment. It is okay for a child to say "no" to an unwanted touch, even if it is from a familiar person. Help your children practice saying "no" in a strong, yet polite voice. This will help children learn to set personal boundaries.
Good touch: A touch that makes a child feel secure, cared for and happy. For example a mother hugging a child or a grandparent kissing their child or a doctor examining a child. Any touch that makes the child happy or secure is a good touch.
Bad touch: A touch that makes a child uncomfortable, afraid or nervous is a bad touch. The child will not feel safe with a bad touch. For example, if an adult touches your child and tells him or her not to tell anyone, or if your child feels very uncomfortable when kissed or touched, then it’s a bad touch.
How can you teach your children about good touch and bad touch?
Given below are seven suggestions on how you can teach your child about this topic.
• Tell your children that only they own their bodies, no one else.
Teach your child that no one has the right to touch them if they don’t want to be touched. Tell them that certain parts of their body are private. Children as young as two years old understand that some body parts are private. Only Mum and Dad or someone parents have appointed can touch them there while bathing or cleaning them. No one else can touch them, if they don’t want to be touched.
• Give the swimsuit example:
Explain to your child that the parts of his or her body that are covered by a swimsuit are extremely private. So, no one should ever touch him or her there. Despite this, if it happens, he or she should report it to you or to the school teacher so that action is taken.
• Teach them to say NO:
Explain to your child that they have the right to tell someone not to touch them or some parts of their body. They can say ‘No’. Even if it is some is trying to hug or kiss them and they feel uncomfortable or afraid, they can say ‘No’.
• Talk to them in a casual and easy manner:
While this is a serious topic, try to keep the conversation casual so that the child is comfortable talking about it. Use everyday events to introduce the topic. For example, introduce this topic when you are having dinner, or giving your child a bath.
• Tell them about good touch and bad touch:
Explain to your child that a good touch will never make them uncomfortable or afraid but a bad touch will. Teach them to run away if someone tries to touch them inappropriately or if they feel scared or insecure.
• Use books or videos to explain:
Now a days there are many good books and videos available on this topic. Books contain good illustrations making it easy to explain and understand. Videos on this topic are also freely available on YouTube. Use these resources to explain things in a much simpler and easier manner to your child.
• Teach them to run away:
If a child feels threatened by someone, they should run away from that place as soon as they can and try not to be near that person again. Also teach them that it’s ok to confide in their parents or teachers or scream for help
Sexual Assault- Is ‘skIn to skIn’ contact necessary?
A recent judgment delivered by a single judge of the Bombay High Court at Nagpur
in the case Satheesh v. State of Maharashtra (Criminal appeal no. 161/2020) is a classic example of incorrect application of the law and reeks of judicial insensitivity to the larger issue of child abuse. By requiring skin to skin contact as an essential ingredient for sexual assault the learned judge has stirred a hornet’s nest. By corollary, usage of gloves would be a good defence against criminal liability. Similarly usage of condom by a rapist would save him from charges of rape. I would not be surprised if ingenious criminals took this as a precedent to seek protection against all cases where physical contact is required to invoke the necessary presence of skin to skin contact to constitute ‘touch’.
The term “Sexual Assault” has been defined under Section 7 of the Protection of Children against Sexual Offences Act, 2012 as “Whoever, with sexual intent touches the vagina, penis, anus or breast of the child or makes the child touch the vagina, penis, anus or breast of such person or any other person, or does any other act which involves physical contact without penetration is said to commit sexual assault.”
Thus an analysis of the section, requires the presence of following essential ingredients to prove sexual assault
1. Act of accused to be done with ‘Sexual intent’. This implies that an accused cannot be held guilty for accidental or involuntary acts
2. Any one or more of the following
3. Physically touching the vagina, penis, anus or breast of the child; or
4. Making the child touch the vagina, penis, anus or breast of any person; or
5. Any other act which involves physical contact without penetration
The language is clear that in order to constitute sexual assault there must be physical touch or contact. However the law does not specify whether the touch has to be necessarily ‘skin to skin’. This interpretation was left to the wisdom of the judiciary who were expected to do so in the light of the legislative intent, which may be deciphered from the title as well as the statement of objects and reasons behind the enactment of such law. Penetration is not required to constitute sexual assault and constitutes a separate category of sexual assault termed as ‘penetrative sexual assault’ defined under Section 3 of POCSO. There is an obligation mentioned under UNCRC and expressly reiterated in the Statement of Objects and Reasons to POCSO that obligates us to undertake all measures to prevent ‘the inducement or co-ercion of a child to engage in any unlawful sexual activity’.
Section 354 of the Indian Penal Code, 1860 as amended in 2013 states, “Whoever assaults or uses criminal force to any woman, intending to outrage or knowing it to be likely that he will there by outrage her modesty, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which shall not be less than one year but which may extend to five years, and shall also be liable to fine.”
This provision was used to cover incidences of molestation as distinguished from eve teasing covered under Section 509. While the latter covers incidents where the woman had been insulted, teased or her privacy intruded upon, from a distance, section 354 required the usage of some criminal force against a woman, deliberately, with an intent to outrage her modesty. Modesty was defined in judgments as an essential attribute of womanhood, present in every woman irrespective of her age. The use of criminal force required under Section 354 also did not specify the force to necessarily require ‘skin to skin’ contact.
POCSO was intended to be a child friendly legislation safeguarding the privacy and confidentiality of a child by avoiding re victimization of minors by the judicial system that subjected them to protracted investigations and trial. We are bound under Articles 3(2) and 34 of the UNCRC to protect children from all forms of sexual exploitation and abuse. Article 39 of the Indian Constitution directs the State to secure protection against exploitation to children of tender age. Acknowledging the probability of all minors Irrespective of their gender being subjected to sexual abuse, the legislators drafted POCSO as a gender natural law and used the expression ‘Sexual Assault” instead of “Rape’ to rule out ambiguities associated with the technical interpretation of the term ‘Rape’. Rape comes from the Latin term Rapio that means ‘forcible seizure of a woman’ and thus can be invoked where the victim is a woman.
Another point here is regarding the application of ‘principle of proportionality’. Observing that punishment for an offence should be proportionate to the seriousness of the crime Justice Pushpa Ganediwala said that the stringent nature of punishment provided under POCSO required stricter proof and serious allegations to hold the accused guilty. Somehow, the learned judge could not comprehend the seriousness of the act committed against a minor girl of twelve years whose trust was betrayed by a man who groped her breast by taking her inside his house on the pretext of offering her a guava.
By questioning whether the man removed her top or slid his hand under the girl’s shirt, the minor’s complaint has been trivialized.
By punishing the accused under Section 354 of the IPC the court has acknowledged the presence of criminal intention. God knows, wherefrom the requirement of ‘skin to skin’ contact has been read into Section 7 of the POCSO which unequivocally covers the act of the accused. The charges under Section 7 of POCSO were removed to reduce the punishment from three to one year of imprisonment. The judge in her judicial wisdom had every right to do so with regard to the facts and circumstances of the case taken in its entirety. But, in doing so she had no right to distort and dilute the interpretation of Section 7 in order to do what she felt was right. This is a preposterous judgment based on an incorrect interpretation of a well-meaning legislation and needs to be condemned and challenged.
Conclusion :- All parents want their children to be safe and well at all times. Since parents cannot expect their children to always be surrounded by good people, it is the parent’s responsibility to teach them to be ready to handle such situations if they are ever faced with one.
